Thursday, August 30, 2012

Journey ends, Journal begins...

Finally, finally... thinks turned right.    From August to August - well, I dare say now, there is an end to mystery.   And trouble is history.   Well, I am at the mouth of the tunnel now.  One more month, I should be out of the cave.  I could have waited to write out the complete story, but this was the month that turned it all around - so why not share this inspiration story?

It was a journey of self discovery.  I experienced this - the limitless of human enterprise and the endeavor to resolve problems and face adversity. I can tell you this - this is a story of inspiration.  Unless I share it with you, I will be doing injustice to the world - we need positive stories. The ability to handle crisis, problem solving, holding one's head in sanity when falling through a dark abyss of chaos, fighting demons within oneself, all that we see in proverbs and motivational speech, I experienced first hand.   There are two preceding stories to this.   If you read them, they would serve as interesting prologues.

As they would say, the pain beyond the human capacity is that a woman goes through during the birth of her child.  Well, this pain is no comparison to that.

A fall, deep and never ending
But to express them in some sense - imagine one's hands and legs tied,  put in a cage, without able to cry or cringe in pain, for the fear of abuse, and thrown into a dark abyss, consumed by darkness and gravity, always expecting to hit the bottom, but the bottom never forthcoming, stomach spewing acidic pangs, always exacerbating, eyes devoid of sleep, painful in the cornea, redness - the leftover of a bloody battle between the restless mind and the slumber, mind numbed by repeated ignominies of undervalued life and backstabbing,  and the need to smile for the sake of civilization - all these consuming life simultaneously...

And there was light, after almost a year!
Now to the counter - catharsis - running in short bits, cursing, pleading, calling names, talking and exhorting myself, writing - blogs, expressing the pain, the imagination, the thoughts, random but ever-growing,  moving from self-gratification topics to fiction, prayers, invoking the name of Sai, Ganesha, Guruvayoorappan, pleading with the Lord to give strength and ardor to deal with the problem, self-counselling, taking it step-by-step, managing criticism from the household to the herds outside, still endeavoring to achieve that one goal, a game of cloak and dagger with the unseen enemy, and the most important - those friends - my college mates, colleagues, customers who stood by me, extended that God's hand, and those who tried but couldn't,  and this city - the right to be, for me, this is the greatest place on earth with stories of inspiration at every nook and corner, especially when I neeed it,  and those enemies - who never knew that the deeper they push me down the abyss, the higher will I rise - all of these were my aids of navigation in the tempestuous cauldron.

While I describe this journey of August to August, I will try my best to not hurt those names which caused this situation, but just as I thanked others, I thank them, the hurt created the scar, and the scar created this warrior.  

I feel liberated today,  have achieved most of my objectives, and the light is visible at the mouth of the abyss. The journey is about to end, and another journey begins, but this journal is just about to start.   A runner- back to racing,  a man whose imagination knows no boundaries, an entrepreneur, a business leader, a writer - all were born in August 2011-2012.  

For those who are interested in the prologues - here you go-

http://ashok-speaks.blogspot.in/2011/11/this-too-shall-pass.html
http://ashok-speaks.blogspot.in/2012/04/mumbai-mumbles-two-sizes-smaller.html

The journey continues, the journal begins.

- The One