Saturday, January 28, 2012

Storm and the Calm: Cacophony of the cactus and the balance of the Buddha

The nightmare continues.  I try to be as sane as possible.   Like in the movie Inception, the walls are slowly and surely closing in.   The vents dont pump in air.   The head is heavy.  The lungs feel tight and knotty.   The throat goes dry.   I gasp for breath.   Some choke-hold this.


Like a cactus in a desert I lose
orientation
 I wake up panting and gasping for breath. Many dreams- but the same ending. The agony transcends beyond the boundary between the world of sleep and awakening.   I lose balance and the sense of time and space.  Every second is agony.

It is like drowning in water, forever.  Beneath the water, I gasp for oxygen.  I want to go up.  I go up, but come down into the water again.  Pulled into the vortex.   I scream for help.   I try to grasp something solid.   Something that will give some orientation and sense.  

But there is nothing.   The vortex sucks me in.  The inevitable black hole awaits - like the spider waiting for its prey.  I panic.  All this within me.  Outside, I smile with emptiness.

The Bust of Buddha -
a sense of calm and
balance
I wander around the malls - killing time. I visit this shop.  To kill time.  I know that time is the vortex.   The inevitability is obvious. 

Like the cactus in a desert.  No help beyond the horizon.  Everywhere it is a sea of sand.  White and shining.  Endless.  Which way to go?  Senseless.  No direction, no bearings. 

And I see the smiling face.   A slight smile.  Curled, plainted, knotted hair.  Long ears.  Broad forehead.  Closed eyes.  The calmness and assurance.  With the comfort of the smile.  It is like a still ocean.   Deep and silent.   The permanence of it.   And the balance.   The BUDDHA.


Closed eyes.   Calm?  No Vortex?
 The cactus and the Buddha find their way to my hall.  The cactus blends in the background - the inevitable vortex of material, cacaphonic life.   The Buddha - reflecting the calm and the balance, but prominent.

In reflection, subconsciously, I comb my short hair with my palm.  They remind of the fallibility and mortality of the homo-sapien.  My resolution #1.

I look at the Buddha and close my eyes.   No vortex.  No desert.   Only calm and balance.

-The One

( Pics courtesy The One)


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